No Advice Available

I was talking to one of my close family recently. Truth be told, we were in an intense discussion about an issue. She had her perspective and I had mine. We both tried to see each others perspective however we were unsuccessful. Before we broke the conversation off she asked me, "do you have any advice for me."

Now normally I ALWAYS have advice to give. I consider myself a pretty good "fixer." Others who have been on the receiving end of my advice might disagree and call me a busybody or just interfering in their business. But to me I think I offer pretty good advice. I bet you too think you offer pretty good advice. You probably consider yourself relatively wordly and having a ggod handle on human nature and think that you advice is normally on the mark. In all likelihood it probably is.

However, what I came to realize is that the above perspective on advice is wide of the mark. Even though now it seems obvious, advice isn't often worth the breath that it takes to give. Why? Well, there are many reasons. Among them are the fact that we can't really understand where someone else is coming from no matter how hard they try to explain their situation. Additionally, it is tough if not impossible for us to communicate advice in the way it is intended. Oftentimes people to whom we are talking have a close attachment to the subject on which we want to share our wisdom which clouds their ability to understand where we are coming from...and the list of reasons goes on.

But probably the best reason I came up with for not giving advice is so subtle that I have missed seeing it for years. It appears to me that when I offer advice to someone I am communicating that they don't have the ability to address the issue themselves. WHOA! By expressing my opinion or advice I am telling them that I think I know how to solve their problems better than they. I guess that is the biggest reason I will try my best to refrain from offering advice. After all, even the most insightful among us want to be able to take a vacation from advice giving every once and awhile.