Making the Team

One of my most poignant memories of high school is of making the basketball team. Actually, if the truth be known, my memories are of NOT making the team. You see, one of the gifts that I have been given is the gift of height. If you have seen me in person, then you know that I am six foot six inches tall. I have been this height since high school and therefore a “natural” to play basketball. As a matter of fact, people ask me to this day whether I played basketball. Perhaps being reminded so regularly has something to do with the reason that I remember the process of tryouts so vividly. As much as I am blessed with height, I am also blessed with slight. I am skinny now, but compared to my high school years, I am absolutely strapping. As a High Schooler, I dutifully tried out for the team year, after year, after year. And I was cut year, after year, after year. When I graduated from High School, I left the dream of making the team behind.

I got married, and had two daughters and suddenly my dream of making the dream was rekindled. Not for me of course, but for my kids. I married a tall woman and am blessed by beautiful and tall young children, who I thought, would certainly make the team. I had learned a few lessons from my own failure and I was committed to not having my children repeat them. I started them playing early. I coached their teams. I made sure they focused on fundamentals. I had them work out with weights. From my experience I had them do everything I thought would help them make the team. The week for tryouts came. My oldest daughter sacrificed her other activities for the week so that she would be able to give her all to making the team. The day for cuts came and she found out that…she didn’t make the team. I was devastated. She was devastated.

Looking back, I think that we were devastated for different reasons. I was devastated that she didn’t make the team because all of the planning and preparation that I had put into her making the team had resulted in failure. I was devastated by the failure. For her, she was devastated because I was devastated. Was she disappointed that she didn’t make the team? Of course she was. But she looked to me to find out if it was ok. Was not making the team an event that happens in life, like so many others, or was it a turning point in her life one from which she might never recover? She looked to me to find the answer to that question. I am sad to say that at that moment I saw it as a turning point in her life. I forgot that not making the team was only one experience in life out of the thousands that each of us experience each and every day.

The footnote to this story is that once again I, as an individual and parent, have gained perspective about basketball. I realize once again that basketball is just a game and that not making the team isn’t the end of life. Sure, my daughter may not get a scholarship to play basketball at Duke, but she will be able to live a happy and contented life whether or not she makes the basketball team or any other “team” in her life. I know that the same is true for me as well. If I don’t achieve a goal, or succeed in a way in which I think I should, that doesn’t have to be the end of my happiness. Our failures in life are opportunities for us to see that our perspective is what creates our happiness.

Finding Wisdom (part 3)

After realizing that I had made Heatlh Realization the yardstick by which I measured people, places and things in my life I found myself at a crossroads. Health Realization had provided me with a tool by which I had gained incredible insights into my daily life. I found happiness and contentment more so than I had ever dreamed possible. I found depth and perspective with people and events that before had ruled my life. My trap was that now I found myself ruled by a master of my own creation. A master that even I could not satisfy.

I wonder now how many of us are doing the same. What "rules" have each of us made up that we see as the way in which we must live our lives. Oh, I know, the rules themselves are made up with only the best of intentions. Whether the rules have to do with physical, personal, spiritual care or something else, rules are always envisioned as a way to point us toward a more satisfying life. The problem comes when the rules cease being a tool and start to become the master of your life.

It is hard for me to look back and determine exactly when I noticed my life being run by the rule which I made up which was, "Health Realization is truth." Looking at it in print makes me realize how foolish it is. However, we all make up rules to live by. Some are as old as the ages. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." Some are more contemporary. "Someone who attends religious services atleast once a week is more content than someone who does not attend religious services weekly." Now, each of these "truths" has some wisdom in it. The question is, "How far am I willing to go in judging the world by these truths?"

The first thing for me to see in these "rules" is that they aren't really rules at all. They are more like good ideas that someone thought to write down. The second thing is that the words used to describe these rules are truly a distillation and generalization of the "truth". By that I mean, sure, it is a good idea to eat apples and attend religious services if that works for you. But if you are allegic to apples or have a job which mandates that you work during the time of a religious service then I don't think anyone would recommend taking either of these "rules" literally.

And perhaps that is where I should stop. There is all kinds of wisdom out there in the world. Some may make sense to you and some may not. Taking any advice literally (including mine) entails the risk of allowing it to potentially rule your life. A focus on rules, of any type, takes me away from my true job in my life which is to live a good one. Enjoyment of life through living in the moment is our best defense of living life by the rules which we all make up from time to time. Live it to the fullest.

Finding Wisdom (part 2)

Last time I left off after having learned a powerful truth about my life. I had realized, through Health Realization, that my life was my own to create. I had been made aware of the awesome power of thought through my understanding of Health Realization. For me, and I think many people, simply being aware was not enough. I had to learn more. I also found myself incredulous that more people weren't or didn't want to be made aware of this amazing truth. To learn more I studied under various "experts" in the field. I studied or learned under names like George Pransky, Sandy Krot, Judy Sedgeman, Ken Manning, Ed Lemon, Jack Pransky and many more. Each of them walked with me on my path of realization and watched my knowledge grow. Concurrent with my growing knowledge I also saw improvements in my life. My personal life improved through improved relationships with my wife, children and close relatives. My professional relationship improved. I stopped feeling the same level of anxiety while at work or in professional situations. However, there were cracks in the foundation.

Unbeknownst to me, over time, I had made Health Realization something that it was never meant to be. Most people get what they can from Health Realization and then go live happy healthy lives. I made the mistake of taking it a step or two further. I made Health Realization the yardstick by which I measured everything. If someone or something didn't meet my measure of truth then they weren't up to standard. There is a funny thing about setting your own standard and then measuring people by that standard. You and you alone determine who measures up. Foolishly, I set up the system so that almost no one did measure up. My internal compass was set to such an extreme that even I wasn't able to follow it. I found people, experiences and things not measuring up to my impossible standard.

Lucky for me I have an understanding and wise partner in life. This would not be the first time that she would rescue me from myself. I am thankful that with wise counsel I was able to see the folly of my ways. I was able to see that I had ceased to use my understanding as a way to make sense out of life and had instead used it as a way to control my life. I had chosen to live my life inside my head and outside of the world. As I said, luckily I caught myself before the spiral had gotten too far out of control.

It is funny to get rescued from yourself. For me, being caught up in myself has made it somehow easy and yet difficult to resolve the "hard" questions in my life. In my heart I know that my hard questions are hard solely because I make them so. I know that fearful things are fearful only because I chose to make them so. I know that peace, love and joy are my birthright and it is my choice that makes me so. My question for my next post, which I have been asked by so many others but am asking myself now, is how?

Finding Wisdom

This is the first of (I think) three posts about wisdom. Where it comes from. Where it goes. How to find it again. So here goes my story.

In 1995 or so, I worked at a major health care company. I had a great job and worked with some really cool people. I taught doctors, nurses and hospital adminstrators about new medical procedures and such so I was really involved with teaching, training and learning. One of my interests was in peoples' ability to learn new things. My life at the time wasn't perfect and I was interested in improving my life, so I often took seminars and courses on how to improve various aspects of my life. Even though I left most of those seminars pumped up about how I was going to change my life, after a few days or weeks things that I had thought I would change were still the same. My enthusiam for change had been crushed by my day to day reality.

This went on for a few years until I ran into a man by the name of George Pransky at one such "seminar." It was more of a retreat really and in a very relaxed setting I found him speaking directly to my heart. Now, I know that using those words will be confusing to some but essentially what he said was so simple and rang so true that I felt drawn in and compelled by what he said. Even these years later I can still remember that day as he spoke of the power of thought and talked about living in the moment. Little did I know that he was introducing me to a concept called Health Realization.

The weekend I was first exposed to Health Realization changed my life. I have never looked at my life the same way since. At some level, now I know that I create my own reality through the power of my own thinking. And that through the gift of thought we are all on a journey through life of our own creation mostly unaware of the deep truth that defines our very existence. This understanding changed my life. It changed my work life. It changed my family life. It changed my interactions with everyone from my closest friends and family to those who cut me off in traffic. The change was not subtle either. I gained a new found compassion and empathy for humanity, myself included. In my mind the understanding underlying Health Realization is the key to everything that ailes our human race. Is Health Realization powerful? For me it is. But that is not enough and I will share why in my next post.

What am I?

Why is it that some people struggle with that question, perhaps for their whole lives, and to others that question never enters their conciousness? I am certain that this post will not answer that question but perhaps some perspective about my own life could be helpful if you struggle as I do. I seem to be the type of person who is OK, pretty much, with the way that things are. By that I mean that mostly I don't hold strong opinions. I enjoy mexican and chinese food. I like casual and formal occasions. I can drink beer or wine. Now, that is not to say that I wouldn't prefer drinking wine at a casual mexican restaurant but I can also go the other way. And that is true about most things in my life.

Thinking back to my childhood I think the same was true then. However, as each of us grows up the pressures of the world can start to impose themselves on us. Most often, sometime in High School or College, we get the idea that we need to get "serious" about our lives. The implication being that playtime is over and we need to stop fooling around and "make something" of ourselves. I think that many people benefit from, or even need, that kind of nudge into "productive society."

I have siblings who never needed anyone to tell them anything of the sort. They knew from an early age the direction they were going. I have siblings who seem to have benefitted from that type of encouragement. For a long while I would have included myself as one who needed some outside encouragement. That is until now.

I have recently started thinking about my life in the context of relative freedom. You see I was fired from my last job but my family is able to survive on my wifes income. It is easy for me to stay home and play father to my two girls. However, that leaves me with an unanswered and troubling question. What should I do with my life?

I know that in my heart lies a mission, a drive, a passion. What I have lost over these years is my connection to it. A long time ago when I was still connected to my passion, somehow, I heard a louder voice that told me to make something of myself. When I chose to hear that voice from outside of me it seemed natural to listen to what it recommended I do. After all that outside voice knew the world and seemed to know me.

If you have lost your passion, your drive, your mission, you can know that it is not lost forever. You, like I, have temporarily lost connection with it. We have heard and focused in on the louder more seemingly sensible voice. The way for me to return to my passion is to know that it is there and tune my hearing for a quiet but strong voice. Just like the sun on a cloudy day, my passion has not gone away but is hidden, someday to return and bathe me in the warmth that is my birthright. I look forward to that day.