How to change, inspite of trying to

Most people think that in able to change...something, you need to try. In this post I will try to explain the premise of grace, as it applies to oneself, and how grace is the key towards positive change. Humanity has been sold a bill of goods when it comes to making changes in ones personal habits. The ideas of accountability loom large in order for us to initiate and especially to continue habits that are outside of our normal routine.

If you do not exercise, then conventional wisdom says that you should start exercising with someone else and make sure to tell others so that they can keep you accountable. It sounds like alot of guilt to me and maybe it works, for a while. Maybe it works for a long while. But I just don't believe that the best way to make changes in my life are by guilt or having someone else parent me to keep me on the straight and narrow.

I firmly believe that if I am engaged in an unhealthy habit it is because I personally do not yet understand that I have an alternative to that behavior when I am faced with the urge to undertake that habit. Therefore, if I am lazy, overeating, underexercising, overdrinking it is because I do not, in the moment, see the possibility of not doing so.

Now, first let me say that the last statement I made can be pretty tough to accept. It puts me and only me as the determiner of my behavior. It takes away the excuses of addiction and lack of motivation as reasons for my behavior. Many people are not willing to put the responsibility for their actions squarely on their own shoulders, and therefore there is a huge industry just waiting to help people deal with what I would call perceived addictions and motivational issues. This post is not for them

This post is for those of you who either are tired of dealing with your "addictions and motivational issues" or have not found freedom from those issues.

If you are still with me then I can offer you hope above accountability, the 12 steps or any rewards or punishments. The answer is inside of you. Inside you lives a goodness, a power, a wisdom which is unbelievably stronger than any addiction or issue you are dealing with. This deeply resident health is willing and waiting to provide all the answers you need to all the issues you face in life. Now, you might ask, "Why haven't I heard any of the advice this health has to offer?" The reason is that it has a quiet voice which is easily overwhelmed by your own thoughts. So when you are trying to change, thinking about changing, or even considering thinking about whether you should change, you leave no room to hear the voice of your health. The only way to hear your quiet voice is to be calm in your thinking. This calmness, serinity and peace is the opening your health needs to lead you on the path to change.

Human needs versus the need for humanity

I just walk by. You may too. They usually sit on the sidewalk with some sort of sign. Sometimes they just hold a cup. They are homeless, down on their luck, needy, beggars, con men, or whatever YOU might call them. I just walk by. And I rationalize my decision to walk by. They aren't really hungry, They probably make more begging than they would if they worked a real job for minimum wage. They will spend any money they get on drugs or alcohol. Sadly, all of this may be true. Sadly, even if all this is true, they won't go away and neither will my guilt as I just walk by.

I read a book titled, "The Mystic Christ." I am not here to promote the book. However, one thing I read touched me. What I goe was, when we see someone in need it is not up to us to decide how needy they are or whether they will use any money we give them "correctly" or whether any assistance is truly needed. Our responsibily is to respond with generosity. WOW, so when I saw a panhandler, my responsibility was to share some of the bounty I have been given with them. My gift was to be given without thought to how my gift would be used or any other thought excepting that there, before me, was another human being in need.

The next panhandler I ran into was the recepient of a single dollar from my wallet. i was probably much more uncomfortable giving it to him than he could ever be asking me for it. It was a transaction. I give and he received. As I walked away I felt uncomgortable and empty. I had given of my wallet, but my heart felt empty. I suppose I realized that this panhandler had more than physi8cal needs which we unmet. I had no idea how to meet those other needs but somehow I sensed they were there.

Upon my reflection, I realized that a panhandler is more than just monetarily removed from society. They are isolated by a much wider chasim. That chasim was evident as person after person walked by. People ignored, made fun of, insulted, and humiliated them. Hardly a human response to an individual in need. These people, these fellow humans are in need of more than just physical comfort. They need human comfort as well. That human comfort comes in somehow satisfying thier need for humanity. The physical and emotional connect we all take for granted was obviously absent. And I guess that realizing that is somehow my challenge expressed by a friend of mine many years ago. He said, "John, when you see a need and try to fulfill it, you have only taken the first step along the journey of finding the profundity of need and what you can do to fulfil it."